It is not about me!

I've been feeling pretty crummy this week.  It's HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) week at CG.  Anyone that attends camp knows this is my absolute favorite week.  We do A LOT of running, sprinting, and hypoxic training.  I love every minute of it and look forward to week 3.  That is until this week.  Bless the trainer's hearts.  They are trying to make it a worthwhile workout for me but with 50+ campers, who am I to expect individual attention.  Besides, it really doesn't matter what the modified workout is, its not what I want to do.  I want to run, I want to feel my legs working, my lungs expanding & contracting and I want to suck wind when I finish!

Well in the midst of my continued pity party, I went to mass with the kids today.  I knew I needed to ask for some help.  I'm angry and I am shutting out people that care about me, especially The Lord.  I needed to feel his presence and open my heart for the Holy Spirit to fill it and wash the darkness away.

As I sat in church between my boys, Fr. Hoa began his homily.  He spoke about how we all have ideas about who we want to be when we grow up.  That it is great to have ambitions but he explained to the kids that its not about them.  Its not about us.  He reflected on the story of Jonah & the Whale & I'll try my best to paraphrase.  Here is the gist of what Father said to the children......Jonah ran away from God and his instructions to go to Ninevah.  He kept running until during a storm at sea, he was swallowed by a whale.  The whale followed the will of God and "spit" Jonah out on the shores of Ninevah.  It was then that Jonah finally understood that it wasn't his will but God's to preach to the city of Ninevah and save them.

As I sat & listened, I heard the voices of my husband, my trainers, my running group telling me, "Don't rush the process", "remember the bigger picture", "if it takes 6 months before you can race again, its better than never being able to run again".  Through all of these people, the Lord has been speaking to me. Its not up to me when I race again, it is up to him!  I'm not sure I understand where God is guiding me or what he has planned for me but I trust in him and be open to hearing his message!  I need to remember that its NOT about me!

Sorry my friends, please forgive my ugliness this week.  I am a work in progress.

I got in the pool.....

Week One of physical therapy complete!  

I met with the PA on Monday and during her evaluation of me, she said & I quote, "I know runners are wired a little differently and you NEED to run.  I don't understand it but do know you can't help it.  Its just something in your brain."  Hmmmm, is that true?  

So when we were scheduling the next two appointments for the week, she told me they had a facility with a pool.  Have I mentioned, the LAST thing I want to do is.....swim!  So I waited for her next comment and was completely caught off guard when she said, I could run.....in this pool!  What?!  

They had an underwater treadmill and I could go and run for 45 minutes!  I almost kissed her right their in her office!!!  Sign me up, I said.  I guess I'm wired differently because I think I told complete strangers in the grocery store, "Hey, I get to run on Wednesday on an underwater treadmill"!  

Here's one happy girl!  Can't wait to go back next week!

The other positive that has come of this minor set back, is I am back with my CG family!  I didn't realize how much I missed by MWF group!  While, I can't run during camp & have to modify a lot of what I'm doing their encouragement means so much to me.  And what to even say about my favorite newlywed trainers!  I continue to be blown away by how much they care about not just me (ok, who am I kidding, its all about me) but all of the campers.  Its January and what's everyone's New Year's Resolution......to get in shape!  So we have a ton of new people out at camp and they are killing it every day but it has SO much to do with the trainers pushing & encouraging!  

The PA told me yesterday that I should be good to go for the half marathon next month at Cowtown.  I can't wait because it will be my chance to give back.  I am going to pace, encourage & push my trainer across that finish line!

Wish me luck!

And the prognosis is.....

So folks, my stubborn self finally agreed to see a doctor!

Thank you to the many people that had a role in the intervention that caused this to happen.  Intervention is probably too strong a word but when you continue to get asked, "did you make an appointment to see a doctor" followed a look of exasperation (yes, I know you had that look even through text message) when my response was "Of course not",  I thought I better take action before people stop listen to me talk about how miserable I am because I can't run!

So with a recommendation, I saw a podiatrist this morning.  What I have is a stress reaction.  Huh?!  For the love of running, what does that mean?! Well, he drew me a picture and I wish I would have taken a picture for you.  Try to visualize....

When you run, you are putting a lot of stress on your muscles.  Umm, duh!  So, when I run and get to the point that my muscles are fatigued, the stress has to go somewhere.  So this stress goes to the bone and just builds.

So, what does this mean for me, you ask?  Great question!

Recommendations
1. Custom orthotics (I picture myself in ugly shoes that no one under 70 should wear, lol)
2. Physical Therapy
3. REST for the next week- with allowed swimming (no comment) & biking

Through my sarcastic thoughts & comments, I am trying to process how I feel about this but the biggest emotion is relieve.  Relieve that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and he did say that an early Spring marathon is a strong possibility!

I am happy that its not fractured and I could potentially be back to running in a week.  But this thought leads me to the fact that most of my buddies will be back from Houston recovering when I'll be revving to go out and pound the pavement.  Poor me that I'll have to run alone!  What do they need to rest for.  They only ran 26.2, geez?!  In all seriousness, I will survive a few miles alone and when they are rested, I know they'll be back out.

Thanks for checking on these past weeks.  Keep the prayers and thoughts coming and the occasional exasperated look! I tend to need a kick in the pants every now and again!

Wish me luck!