I meant to write this post last night but since the illness that invaded my house last week finally caught up with me, I called it an early night.  Let me start by first saying, THANK YOU!  Yes, in all CAPS because I am overwhelmed by the comments, emails, texts and phone calls I received after I reflected on last week's marathon.  The image above was sent to me in one of those communications and it really hit home for me.

The other thing that happened last week that also hit me right in the feels, came from a student at school who is a member of the Running Club I oversee.  Meet Oliver, he is a sweet little (he may not like that I said that) 4th grader with a passion for running, books and from evidenced below, doughnuts!  A kid after my own heart.

Last week, he participated in the school Spelling Bee.  This guy made it to the end where he was up against 8th graders!  Well, as the story goes, he did not win and as I know all too well, he was devastated.  He had been confident he was going to win.  Which, by the way, his mother informs me is a trait he gets from his dad.  Don't EVER lose that confidence Oliver, it will serve you well!

Running Club was that afternoon and Oliver was not feeling up to running.  His mother volunteers, so he had to stay.  As I would learn later, Oliver's mother pulled up my blog and let him read it on the way home.  She explained that while I was very disappointed with my performance, I, like Oliver should be extremely proud of what was accomplished.  She went on to explain that she doesn't know anyone that runs, let alone runs marathons.  This woman was using my story to teach her son that sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you envisioned.  You may not reach your goal the first time (or several times) but its what you learn from each experience that matters.

I was privileged to hear this story from his mom on Saturday as we watched Oliver and my oldest compete in a Lego Robotics Competition.  I had no idea that this journey would serve as a model to these kids.  Coming home from Houston there was doubt I would ever try again.  I prayed for a reason to continue seeking that Qualifying time. Knowing I have kids like Oliver watching, just might be the answer I was looking for.  

And if it takes me 9000 times, if it shows a kid there is no shame is losing, only in not trying then bring on #6!     

By the way, Oliver and the rest of the Robotics won 2nd place overall!  
Wish them luck at Regionals!

Reflecting on Houston 2017

This was me the morning before the marathon.  I was soaking in everything at the expo like I haven't done before.  I'm usually the type to grab my packet and maybe look at a few merchandise booths but that was it.  This time though, I wanted to take in everything, experience it all and make all the memories I could.  I was ready to run and achieve a goal I had worked hard for.  

Yes, I was nervous, I think more so than I had ever been.  I think its because I truly believed I was going to do great.  Now, I knew at this point that the weather wasn't going to be ideal for me.  We had gotten several emails at this point recommending that we not attempt any PRs and run conservatively.  The temperature was going to be warm and the humidity very high. Both John & I thought, okay, its going to be tough but we live in TX.  I've run in the heat all summer.  I was okay with not achieving a PR but surely I was still good to BQ.  I hydrated all week, ate well, got plenty of sleep.  All the boxes were checked.

KT & I before we split for our corrals

The guys & I in our corral awaiting the start

The alarm went off but I was already up.  I can't ever sleep the night before.  I'm always afraid I'll sleep through the alarm.  I made sure I ate exactly what I did every morning of a long run in training.  I'm not superstitious but as any runner knows, you don't do anything new or different.  I met up with everyone a little after six.  We stopped just before Corral B for a photo with KT before she headed to line up.

All was good.  I found my coach, DA, who just put me at ease.  Didn't say much, was just calm.  Just another run, no biggie.  As the announcer started counting down and introducing the Mayor and other important people, I felt the nervous energy.  I couldn't stand still.  Again, they advised to run smart and be aware of how we were feeling out on the course.  The Star Bangled Banner played, the gun sounded and we were off.  I told DA to go get it, he gave me a fist bump and I think said, "you got this" and off he went.


The plan was to run a 9 minute mile for the first 4 miles.  John was going to meet me between mile 4 & 5.  This was suppose to be the first of 4 times I would see him.  We clicked the first mile right at 9 minutes.  All was good, it was warm but I felt good.  Mile 2 was the same.  Mile 3 & 4 were both under a 9.  I saw John, took some electrolytes and continued on.  I felt good. I felt strong.  At this point, I was suppose to ease into race pace, an 8:45 but this was to happen over the course of the next 10 miles.  So the pace was as follows:

Mile 5=8:47
Mile 6=8:55
Mile 7=8:50
Mile 8=8:50
Mile 9=8:58

And then things changed.  I felt the weight of the humidity and my pace jumped to a 9:50 for the next mile.  At first I thought, its okay I have time.  I have a little room with some of the first 4 being below what they should have been.  Deep down, I knew this was not looking good and it was going to be a struggle.  I can remember thinking, I want to quit.  I had a lot of miles in front of me to feel this way already, I should quit.  I started the mantra a friend told me works for him.  I started looking for John again.  I thought he had said he was going to be there.  I needed my electrolytes.  I started to not feel good and knew this was going to be another failed attempt at my BQ.

At the halfway point, I got hopeful again.  We turned a corner where we could see who was behind us.  The 3:50 pace group was behind me.  I was certain they had already past me, but no!  Although they were gaining and I was not picking up the pace.  In fact the pace was steadily declining.  Shortly after seeing the pacer behind me, I was watching her quickly pull away from me.  Now my inner voice is asking, "What's the point of finishing, you aren't going to do what you came out here to do."  Hmmm, that was a tough one to answer.  So again, the mantra started, "By His Grace, In His Strength, For His Glory".

I think it was at Mile 14, I saw a familiar face, actually two!  John was there and a very dear friend and workout partner from Camp Gladiator!  She drove all the way to Houston just to see me run.  I was so glad to see her but in my mind, sad & embarrassed she was seeing me run such a bad race.  She got some "action" shots.  These  are the raw images folks!  

Mile 14/15

Got my electrolytes and off I go
(not sure what the guy in the foreground is doing)

The next time I saw them both was at Mile 20.  The pace just kept getting slower while I just wanted the finish to get closer!  I told John, I was okay.  I was at peace with my run.  I had prepared for this marathon but nothing can prepare you for weather that you didn't train in.  

Water stop at Mile 20
(walked through almost all of them)

More electrolytes

Loved the sponges

One thing I had never done during a marathon before was have to stop at a medical tent.  I stopped twice this race.  It wasn't for anything major, I didn't need oxygen nor had I broken anything but my legs were cramping pretty bad.  The tents had BioFreeze and the volunteers were actually standing with huge pump bottles waiting to dispense it into the hands of those needing it.  One medical tent so far as to pump it out onto paper towels and had them laid out on a table to hand out and rub wherever it was needed.

In those last 6.2 miles, it rained off and on.  While it was somewhat of a relief from the heat that was literally making me feel compressed, it combined with sweat to make my eyes burn.  What a mess I must have looked like.  So much so, a complete stranger ran out on the course to give me a bottle of water.  These last miles were a lot of stop and go but the longest part of it all was the last .2.  The crowd kept you going but once I saw the 26 mile marker, I just needed to be done.  John & CH were there.  I heard their screams but I just wanted to stop.  So in 4:36:43 I finished my 5th marathon.  No BQ, no PR.  Just finished.  I had struggled every step from Mile 8 on.  I am proud of that.  I didn't let the weather break me.  

As John and I drove home yesterday, I thought about how I was feeling.  My feelings & emotions were all over the place.  I was happy I had finished and didn't give up.  I was sad & frustrated the weather got the better of me.  And I was disappointed.  Not in myself but in the fact that so many people were cheering for me and waiting to celebrate with me.  I felt I let them down.  I'm not sure where I'll go from here.  If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said, never again.  Today, the answer would be, not today or tomorrow.  Right now, I think I'll just go back to running for the pure fun of it, support those that have supported me and log some miles while they train for their next big race.

Until next time......

Wish me luck!

Such a great friend to come & cheer!

This guy pushed me through and got me to the finish!
(had a hand in pushing me on several training runs too)

My much deserved reward!

Most of you know that while I use a training plan, I hired a coach and listened to the advice of so many, at the end of the day, it is God's will that will get me across that finish line on Sunday.  He has given me a great gift.  

Today I had the opportunity to listen to a homily during Mass from a priest I had never heard speak before.  He truly spoke to me and from the look of the congregation, he touched so many others as well.  The gospel was from St Mark today and showed Christ's love and compassion for everyone when he heard the pleas of a leper for healing.  Where most would harden their hearts, Christ never does!  The message in the homily was you are NEVER alone.  Everyone struggles at some point.  Reach out for help.  While the priest wasn't referring to the struggle of completing my marathon, it gave me a moment to pause and think about what it has taken to get to this Sunday.  

I could not do this alone.  When I didn't want to do 1 more 800 on the track, when the last 3 miles of 18 made my legs felt like lead, as I am checking the weather by the hour & feeling bad that conditions may not be ideal, there has always been someone there to push me, pick me up or tell me to "suck it up".  When all is said and done, no matter the outcome, these friendships I have made won't go away.  They may threaten to not let me back in town if I don't come home with my goal but they know that just serves as motivation.  After this weekend, I hope to return the favor that so many have given me.  My cup runneth over!

And at the end of the day, a text of encouragement to share their mantra to use on race day is just what I needed.  

By His Grace

In His Strength

For His Glory

I can't believe training is coming to an end and the marathon is 7 days away!  I haven't blogged nearly enough but it doesn't mean the work didn't get done.  So much has happened to get me to this point again.  I honestly don't know where to begin other than to say, I feel ready.  

Today was the last long run of the training season.  Its "cold" here in TX so it was a wonderful run.  If you have followed my progress at all over the last 2 years, I am a cold weather runner.  I run in the heat only out of necessity but much prefer colder temps!  

I have to tell you the best thing I did this time around was hire a coach!  His training schedule has kept me injury free (mostly, but more on that in a minute), challenged and motivated but the most important thing for me was knowing I was being held accountable.  It was easy to skip a workout in the past when I used a plan that I found online.  Who would know I didn't do it or didn't push my limits and just took it easy.  

As I got into the tough weeks, I just kept checking off the workouts.  Some were better than others but I was hitting them!  My first 20 miler came and when I finished, I felt great; tired but great.  The only bad part of that run was knowing the next day that our running group would be minus a one of our most important members. A stress fracture was going to put him out for 6 weeks and wouldn't be going to Houston with us.  He will be cheering from home and I have strict orders not to come back without a BQ.

I think I may have started having sympathy pains shortly after this incident.  I started feeling some pain in my ankle during my runs and started to panic a little.  So much so that I asked the group to do 5 mile loops on my next 20 miler.  Which they graciously did and I made it through just fine.  Slower than the first one but it got done and that was another first for me.  I have never completed two 20 mile runs in a training season.  Kudos to my coach once again.  

So today, after weeks of early morning track workouts, threshold runs and runs just to put some time on my feet, l've completed that last long run healthy and feeling good.  I will pray that the Lord guide me through and when I am tired, remember that all my strength is in his hands.

I am truly blessed to be given the ability to attempt to reach my goal once again and even more so to be surrounded by a community of running friends that will run at crazy early hours of the morning just to keep me company.  I love each and everyone of you.

Until next Sunday.......

Wish me luck!

Changes

Post written in October but forgotten to publish......


So the weather it seems is finally changing here in Texas and I couldn't be happier.  It has been perfect running weather.  Training has been going well.  

I ran a half last weekend and it wasn't one of my better races.  At the start, it was in the 70s and the course was an out and back on the dam with no reprieve from the sun.  I forgot my sunglasses that morning and ran most of the race solo.  It was mentally tough and I had to keep talking myself up.  A few days after the race, I got an email with my races photos.  Ugh, not pretty!  That form I've been working on.....well, lets just say that I revert back to old habits when I get tired.  Baby steps!

Fast forward through a busy week and I found myself again running solo.  By my choice I decided to change the time of my run to allow me to join the family at church.  The weather looked to be ideal with temperatures in the high 50s to low 60s.  I headed out about 9 am and the weather was great.  I had a target pace but was told that it was not as important as just getting the miles in.  Overall the run was a good one.  It got tough the last 4 miles as the temperature rose and legs tired.  

Training is changing this week.  Speed work is finally on the schedule and I'm excited to see how I do.  I hope that I don't disappoint myself.  

In addition to weather changes and form changes, the schedule change may become a permanent change as well.  Changes may be in the horizon for our family but change is good and God will provide.

Looking Forward to Monday!

Wow, what a week!  I've had bad weeks before but friends this one really had me in an emotional tailspin.  I'm glad I waited until Sunday night to share with you all because had I done so earlier, I'm sure someone would have sent some nice people in a padded van to pick me up for some R&R!

Let's start with Monday. I usually don't work but because I had a trip planned to Chicago to celebrate a dear friend's retirement, I adjusted my week.  No biggie, I'm flexible!  (No comments from the peanut gallery!!)  I didn't have a run scheduled so it started as an easy morning.  Little did I know .......  After school is crazy busy for us on Monday's so I dropped the older two off at home while I took AVZ to Taekwondo.  I had barely pulled out of the driveway, when my phone rang.  The kids were calling to tell me the dog had had an accident and it smelled like someone had died in the house.  Bless their hearts!  By the time I got home, they had cleaned up the dog, the carpet (as best they could) and gotten the bed out of the crate and outside!  Huge points scored!

On to Tuesday, at this point I don't remember but I'm sure I had a run scheduled.  Since I don't remember, it was uneventful and completed as scheduled.  Tuesday is starting off pretty good.  Well.....again busy after school schedule and I found myself sitting in the parking lot of the high school with 2 out of the 3 kiddos while the oldest was at his flute lesson.  While we were reading stories & talking about the events of the day,  I watched a teenager in, what was soon obvious, a vehicle too big for him, attempt to pull into the spot beside me.  Unfortunately for my front quarter panel, he over estimated his turning radius!  While it really sucked, no one was hurt so I took his information and will get the car fixed.

And so we are on to Wednesday and I remember what was suppose to be run, because I didn't get it done.  You always remember the ones you miss or don't run well.  I was too tired to get up for 6.5 and told myself I would run after school.  Ha, what a rookie!!  Remember the dog that was sick on Monday?  Well, he paid a visit to the vet but I was still optimistic that I would run when I got home.  Nope!  Things went south really quickly and without going into details, the teenager wasn't speaking to me and I was holding that coveted "Mother of the Year" award for screaming insanely.  Hold off on that padded van.  All is good, I ate my humble pie and apologized.  I also canceled my trip to Chicago which I was very sad about but knew I needed to be home.   Sometimes, parenting is not pretty and down right hard!  

My coach has been extremely patient and accommodating (yes, he will probably read this!) with my varying schedules so no run was scheduled for Thursday because of the trip.  Well, like a good girl, I got up and ran my 6.5 from the previous day.  Most of the run was done by myself, in the dark, alone!  I don't like to do it but its just the way it worked out.  I survived and was glad to say I hadn't missed it.

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful, thankfully.  My long run this week was on Sunday, again because of the trip to Chicago.  It started out pretty humid but the wind changed and picked up and we even got some welcomed rain.  I felt really good and while I am still struggling with form, I am feeling optimistic that it will come.  

I always look for the lesson and what I learned this week is its time to re-evaluate where I choose to place most of my energy.  After Wednesday night, it was pretty obvious that I need to direct more of my energy towards my kids and our relationship.

Here's to a fresh start tomorrow and the opportunity to do better.

Wish me luck!

Form First, Speed Later

So, two weeks ago I had some company on my long run.  I've been feeling the shin splints a little.  Its not a constant but enough to remind me that I need to run smart so I've been keeping the coach up to date on how I feel after each run.  He decided he should come out and watch my form.  The picture above reminds me of what I felt like knowing I was being "watched".   I joked that he had a paper and pencil out making notes to grade me on later! 

Not really, but it still was a little unnerving.  No one wants to have this vision in their mind of looking like Shalane Flanagan only to be told you look more like Phoebe!

But in all seriousness, form matters!  My focus during runs this week has been to drive from the hips and keep my upper body quiet.  Hmm, ok.  Doesn't sound too hard until you try it.  I honestly thought my form was good, then I caught a glimpse of my shadow in the street lights Wednesday morning and saw just what he meant by keep your upper body quiet.  The frustrating part was my pace slowed as a result of focusing on form.  Shouldn't it be as easy as lacing up the shoes and putting one foot in front of the other?! 

I've been running for years without any thought to form.  To change it won't happen overnight, so I've been told.  I'll get there, it will just take work, time and patience.  I'm not afraid of the work, I'll put in the time needed but man that last one!  It gets me every time!  

Wish me luck.